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What is an Inner Critic?
Let me explain by telling you about one of mine. I have been putting off writing because I had finally convinced myself I was not a good writer. I am not sure when I first started telling myself I wasn’t a good writer, but I told myself so many times, it started to become my truth. Everytime I decided to try and even think about writing, my chest would constrict and I would tell myself “I’m not a good writer, let me focus on something else.” And so the writing never happened.
So what is this Inner Critic?
- It is an inner voice that tells you that you are not good enough.
Where does this inner critic come from?
- The inner critic comes from the way you were spoken to by a parent, teacher, boss or anyone in authority and the way you interpreted and internalized what they said to you.
Many books and articles have been written about the inner critic (too many to name) but I love the simplicity of Taming Your Gremlin by Rick Carson and How to Manage Your Inner Critic, Harvard Business Review. Understanding and learning about the inner critic is one of the first things I studied during my Life Coach training.
So how do we overcome this Inner Critic?
- Recognize that is there
- Realize it’s not the truth
- Do something about it -- take action
This sounds pretty basic and easy, right? So when I met with my Life Coach to discuss my writing issue, here is how it went.
I was in total disbelief that I had this Inner Critic! Shouldn’t I know better?? I am a Life Coach after all. But this Inner Critic felt so real, I couldn’t tell the difference! I kept trying to prove to my Life Coach that I wasn’t a good writer. I kept looking for proof for this statement and couldn’t find it. Wow, this really was an Inner Critic! This is why my clients have such a hard time recognizing their own Inner Critic! This is powerful information for me to use when helping my clients. Then my Life Coach helped me understand why I want to write. I want to write as another vehicle to help people. If I could share my story, maybe I could help someone else. This helped me shift my focus to the purpose of the writing and not the writing itself. In turn, this took my focus off the pressure of being a good writer and onto just helping people. This change in my perspective relieved me from the pressure I was feeling to write perfectly.
Final step - Do something about it -- take action! So here it is, my first writing piece. I agreed to write for 15 minutes a day until I accomplished my first goal. So today, I gently ask my Inner Critic to sit by the sidelines as I publish this. And please, no comments on the writing, just let me know if I have helped you understand the Inner Critic, and how you can put yours aside too.
